Life Less Literary

2 weeks ago I woke up with a dead arm. Not just numb, buzzy, pins & needly stuff, a genuine dead arm. I thought I was gonna have to get it amputated. I slowly lifted my head off the pillow, tried to pull my right arm out from underneath me so I could prop myself up with it, and experienced a total lack of response from that part of my body. I pulled myself up using my left arm, and felt this fleshy thing dangling uselessly down my right-hand side. So I tried to lift my right hand up using my left, which was the scariest feeling ever. My left hand could feel squishy flesh, but the hand that was being held felt nothing. Just like hanging on to a lump of meat. I kept trying to move my right arm, but could only get as far as swinging it from the shoulder, like a cow carcass hanging in an abbatoir. I sat there terrified for nearly 10 minutes before feeling and movement gradually started to creep back in. Still gives me shivers thinking about the way it felt to hold that dead arm.

Had a great time last night, hanging out in the Front Room bar down the Kings Road with Mark, Keld, JC & Adam. Unfortunately JC scrawled “♥ PORN” on my mobile phone, using his nuclear-attack-proof graffiti marker. Ah well.