I love the ideas behind this guy’s Google web-poetry.
Archive for April, 2002
Phil posted me some stuff about his local blues-band, Los Bluesfalos, which made me think back to the bands of my own youth… not because I used to go to lots of blues gigs (although we did from time to time get excited about the incredible string bending of the Papa George band, although I of course got more excited about the fast fingers of George’s bassist).
No, the reason I got excited is because the one band we would follow to the ends of the earth (or Fulham, whichever was nearest) was Los Bastados (sounds a bit like Los Bluesfalos, no? OK, weak connection, but it got my mind working). We first went to see them when they were Wasteland, and I was about 15. I remember once particular gig at St Mary’s Church Hall, Twickenham, (sadly long since demolished to make way for council offices) when I was extremely cider-fuelled in the way that only a 15-year-old can be, and I managed to spray vomit pretty much everywhere around the front of the stage, ended up dancing in it, sitting in it, lying in it, etc. To my eternal shame I also seem to recall pissing in the cutlery draw of the downstairs kitchen. I walked home that night, pissing as I went (most of it ended up on my coat), and remember slumping into bed to watch The Great Rock and Roll Swindle on TV.
We originally went to see Nexus, who Rob’s brother was playing bass for, but ended up loving Wasteland, despite the antics of the Wasteland Barmy Army (Phil’s brother Kentigern and his mates, who would slam dance around like lunatics and grab any unsuspecting souls to use as a launch-platform for their pogoing. Actually, the slamming was great fun, and I lost several pairs of glasses that way). After The Mission released a song called Wasteland, they decided the name was too poncey and changed it to Los Bastados, their sound evolving at around the same time (I think Des learned to sing an octave lower) into something grungier, more Mexican machismo. They also did the best ever version of LA Woman (which we in our naivitë tried to copy). I’ve a feeling they covered some Wayne/Jayne County and the Electric Chairs too, though I forget which song.
So anyway, here I am suffering from mid-80s nostalgia for about the third time in as many days, when I find that Josh, their lead guitarist and probably the least bastard-ish Bastados (I always hated Leo - that wanker stole my bass-EQ pedal and walkman from backstage when we supported them one gig. Charlie and Des were just scary. Josh had very little hair. It’s hard to be scared of somebody with very little hair, unless it’s Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast), has put up a website devoted to Wasteland/Bastados. So now I can sit back and enjoy the MP3s (no doubt they won’t be as good as first time around, but then that’s what nostalgia’s all about).
Josh also engineered our first ever demo tape (we were called Light and Sound Department at the time) on his 4-track. Not the best sound in the world (especially as my copy was recorded at about minus 1000 decibels or something) but I ought to dig it out and MP3 it some time, if only to prove how much my vocals have improved since then.
Finally got my chatbots up and running on Liv4now for a trial run last week. I wrote the program a while ago, using the mIRC scripting language. I’d hoped to be able to adapt a Perl version of Eliza I wrote some 6 years ago, but the mIRC language is… bizarre, unlike nothing else I’ve ever come across, very little similarities to other scripting languages in existence.
So I went out hunting mIRC bots - I was sure there were already bots out there to do this kind of thing (basically listen for keywords and pretend to be engaging in conversation), but there weren’t really. So I had to start from scratch.
It was pretty painful going, especially at first, but I made it in the end. So we now have 3 bots - vicar (who I wrote the “script” for, as well as writing the script for), sadgit and teeney (both of whom learnt their lines off Ben). I left them in the room for 24 hours, and got some pretty satisfying results for a first try. Their vocabularies need expanding a bit, but the idea’s sound. Here’s a few of my favourites…
<Tammi> lol have fun xx
<sadgit> why do you want to have fun? can’t
you just read a good book instead?
<Tammi> reading hurts my brain
<Tammi> big letters hurts
<Tammi> =)
<ickleboo1> lol
<ickleboo1> readings good
<ickleboo1> but lord of the rings is like the crappest book ever
<vicar> ickleboo1, taketh thou not the lord’s
name in vain!
<Tammi> lol
<ickleboo1> eh?
<ickleboo1> i never did ya dumb vicar 
<Tammi> pmsl
* Taz hugs babey and just sum girl 1 more time
<Taz> and then i go
<ickleboo1> lol what u laffing at tammi?
<Tammi> hehe
<ickleboo1> i said readings good not readings GOD
* vicar prays for ickleboo1’s soul
<Tammi> lol
<ickleboo1> cant u read?
<ickleboo1> oooooo
<ickleboo1> i se
<ickleboo1> e
<ickleboo1> ehe
<Tammi> lol
<Tammi> iya milly
<milly> hi
<ickleboo1> vicar, i dont really care about
them dumb ten comandments things
<vicar> Who does really care about them dumb
ten comandments things?
* Tammi chuckles
<milly> this is v religious
<ickleboo1> see i actually DID learn something in R,S
<Tammi> lol
<ickleboo1> even though i didnt want to
<Babey> lol
<ickleboo1> anyway
<ickleboo1> anyway i was trying to read lord of the rings in english
lesson the other day got up to about page 45 and was nearly falling asleep
<vicar> Remember ickleboo1, the lord is watching
<ickleboo1> yeah yeah
<Tammi> lol
<ickleboo1> my mum n dad are re newing wedding (vows) is it? andddddddd
mum wants me to be the maid of honour
<sadgit> dad used to beat me with an ironing board
whenever I laughed too loud at the tv.
<ickleboo1> my mum ent been in a church since like, my christening
<sadgit> my parents ignored me, but that’s cool because
it’s not like I’ve ever had anything interesting to say
<vicar> Care to put some cash into the steeple
restoration fund, ickleboo1?
<the_real_IckleBoo> look wot we got the unreal ickleboo on er
<saz> Who the hell are u vicar?
* vicar prays for saz’s soul
<ickleboo1> shut it real ickleboo
<ickleboo1> im the real boo
<Tammi> lol
<saz> my soul cannot be saved
<megalomania> but i still love you
<sadgit> why do people thing that internet dating sucks?
<Babey> no, i just wanna know wen the men in white coats r cumin 2 pick u up
<mocha> internet datin is ok
<Jen> ur alive then sadgit
<sadgit> you know that guy in that radiohead video who just
slumped on the ground and wouldn’t get up? well, that’s me.
<saz> vicar say a prayer 4 all my sins
<vicar> Did you pray today?
<saz> NO
<Babey> i did
<megalomania> i am a turnip
<megalomania> sazzle, i am making a turnipism website
<clone_jesus> my dear, i love you 2
<sadgit> why do people thing that internet dating sucks?
<clone_jesus> stop it you sad git
<sadgit> i’m not sad, i just…i just don’t know the point
of…anything…
<Babey> SHUT THE M OTHER F UCK UP
<saz> hey peeps go on my website! http:/expage.com/deathtoallhalifaxadds
<saz> its really crap
<clone_jesus> well, look up everything in the dictionary, then you will
understand whal everythin means
<clone_jesus> its fabbo
<clone_jesus> i am goddess brilliento
<vicar> Remember clone_jesus, the lord is watching
<Babey> lol
<Babey> he is jesus
<vicar> Remember Babey, the lord is watching
<clone_jesus> shut up baby
<Babey> i know
<saz> ya
<saz> r u a reel vicar?
<clone_jesus> he watchin me on the bog?
<clone_jesus> i am a goddess
* vicar says 3 hail marys
<saz> or just a ponce?
<stezza> love you mad claire
<sadgit> that girl i was talking about, i can still
remember her number plates
<stezza> shut up sadgit
<sadgit> i’ve always felt like this though, so it’s
not as if it matters
<Lil_Gem> hi all
<Lil_Gem> how is everyone
<Ewan> hi gem
<stezza> are you really sad sadgit
<sadgit> i’ve always felt like this though, so it’s
not as if it matters
<Ewan> dont worry about it sadgit
<sadgit> i’m not sad, i just…i just don’t know the
point of…anything…
<Lil_Gem> hi ewan
<Raspberry> aww sadgit
<sadgit> will someone pay a bit of attention to me? just
a bit? i’m feeling low here, you know!
<Raspberry> lol
<Lil_Gem> lol
<stezza> ok sadgit, what is the problem
* jennii sits on vi and bounces
<Ewan> you’re getting plenty of attention sadgit
<sadgit> i’m not sad, i just…i just don’t know the
point of…anything…
* digger passes sadgit a beer ffs man shut up
* Lil_Gem pats sadgit on the head
<Tammi> lol have fun then
<sadgit> my parents didn’t like me having fun, they
said that i might knock over some furniture or distract them or something
<jetgrrl> HAHA
* Tammi chuckles
<cxg> who thinks britney is sexy?
<teeney> wot dey say about her having like fake boobs
that’s a BLOODY LIE and it’s SICK to say that that is!
<eagle> there ya go jet you are now in
<jetgrrl> thanks eagle
<eagle> interesting site you have will have a good look at it when I have more time
<jetgrrl> britney spears got enhancements then wouldn’t let timberlake have
sex with her so they broke up?
<teeney> i heard this rumour that britney’s going to be
in the 3rd matrix film is that right? i need to learn kungfu now!
<Tammi> pmsl
<jetgrrl> ?
<Tammi> britneys a fake blonde also
<jetgrrl> oh my. just went to the photo album
<Tammi> fake everything on ole britney
<teeney> i heard this rumour that britney’s going to be
in the 3rd matrix film is that right? i need to learn kungfu now!
* Tammi chuckles
<Tammi> welcome to hell of britney
* vicar prays for Tammi’s soul
<teeney> wot dey say about her having like fake boobs
that’s a BLOODY LIE and it’s SICK to say that that is!
<jetgrrl> everyone have a nice weekend, esp sad git
<sadgit> will someone pay a bit of attention to me? just
a bit? i’m feeling low here, you know!
<Tammi> lol
<jetgrrl> there you go!!
<Tammi> sadgit appears
<sadgit> please help
<Tammi> and again sad
<Tammi> some fun sad is
<sadgit> would someone have fun with me? i’ve never had
fun with another person before
<Tammi> see
<Tammi> try church
<vicar> My church is a broad church. B-R-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-A-D
Updated my resumé and projects list.
This is so cool (well, kept me amused anyway. And actually, our house is slightly further down the road, on the top of the Commonside/Spring Hill/Spring Hill Road triangle… but for some reason the map won’t recentre there)
Lola discovered Rowan’s Zolo today - possibly the greatest toy ever invented (even if it is a bugger to stop it from falling apart sometimes)
Priceless! It may not be April 1st, but for a moment there, I had Gill believing that there was no “Q” on a PC keyboard (she couldn’t find it), but that if you typed “KW” instead then it would automatically convert it. 
Oh dear, sometimes these work-avoidance-days are so hard on my blog-reading public… things do deteriorate somewhat.
But screw that, I’ve been having fun with the Babelizer:
Original English Text:
what’s double dutch for chinese whispers?
Translated to French:
quel est le double néerlandais pour des chuchotements chinois?
Translated back to English:
which is double Dutch for Chinese whispers?
Translated to German:
welches ist doppelte Niederländisch für chinesisches Flüstern?
Translated back to English:
which is double Netherlands for Chinese whispering?
Translated to Italian:
quale i doppi Paesi Bassi per il cinese stanno bisbigliando?
Translated back to English:
which the double Low Countries for the Chinese are bisbigliando?
Translated to Portuguese:
qual os países baixos dobro para os chineses são bisbigliando?
Translated back to English:
which the Netherlands double for the Chinese are bisbigliando?
Translated to Spanish:
could not translate
Translated back to English:
could not translate
Oh shit, why the fuck not make it three. Running a Babelfish on this page provided me with the best read of the day…
One describes the music of the Cardiacs from England best in such a way: A grey old man (Punkrock) and a grey and gruengesichtiger old man (70’s-progressive skirt) meet easily angetrunken on the way home of an informal meeting…. (etc etc etc)
I love Babelfish (and, even better, the Babelizer). Mind you, I always thought it was the 60s when skirts went progressive 
Oh, and speaking of the Cardiacs (twice in one day, better be careful), glad to note that the Lyrics Organ now has the words to The Whole World Window, which was the whole reason why I went online looking for Cardiacs stuff in the first place. Was just listening to it and… gloriously sad and happy all at once, possibly the best rip-off of Bach’s Air on a G-String in the world, and gorgeously snuffly. Was moved enough to think “I hope somebody thinks to play this at my funeral, and arranges a big confetti bomb to cover the congregation at the appropriate point. Maybe some pyros too, or is that a bit over the top?” Ah well, while to go yet, I hope.
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