Gill insisted that I got
Gill insisted that I got up with Lola this morning - she woke at about 7am and we got up at 7.20. I was feeling dead to the world. Somehow managed to make her breakfast, went upstairs, read her a few books on the sofa (actually, we read her farm book, then her farm book again, then her Morning Time book, then Morning Time again, then Morning Time again, then Morning Time again, then Caveman Dave, then Caveman Dave again, then Morning Time again, then Morning Time again, then the Farm book again….) before I ended up falling asleep with Rowan and Lola playing together.
Long, strange and rather troubled dreams… the kind that pick up from where you left off while awake. I was supposed to be looking after Lola, but kept falling asleep, and Gill kept trying to wake me up. At one point she pulled me off the platform that our bed is on and my limp body slumped down, head cracking on the floor. Later on, we were at the farmhouse in Switzerland. There was some kind of psychotherapist there. My mum and dad were there, various other relatives too I think. The therapist was asking us to remember the time when we were happiest in our life. Nothing really stood out, but he prompted and prompted. Moments from childhood started coming to me. The therapist got us all to find types of “double plants” (where two plants were growing intertwined) and to separate them out and throw them into a bucket of water - apparently one plant would sink while the other floated, and this would heal all kind of psychological wounds and reconcile us with out pasts, presents and futures. I had some moss with some little herby plant with arrowhead leaves growing out of it, and as I plucked them apart and tossed the parts into the bucket I was thinking of a time when I used to play with my cousins in their big sunny back garden in Haydon. I was overcome with a wave of nostalgic sadness, and I burst into tears. I started crying uncontrollably, and I could actually feel the weeping doing some good. Just as I was starting to get into my stride, the real world intruded - Gill was next to the sofa demanding that I wake up. This time, when she pulled my limp body off the sofa feet-first and my head cracked to the floor, it was for real, and I woke up feeling like I’d been on the verge of discovering something incredible and life-changing, and I just couldn’t help crying as I tried to shake away the sleep.