I played the indecision game
I played the indecision game in London on Monday night.
This is a game which I seem to be playing with increasing regularity, and in different versions - in fact, I just played about 2 hours of indecision before coming up here and typing this. But the version I play in London is by far the most common and tends to go on for the longest.
All I need to get started are some time to kill and a neccessarily vague idea about what I’d like to do during that time. The challenge is to spend all of the time flipping between “shall I shan’t I”-type thoughts. So on Monday, I had most of the day to spare, decided that as I was in London it would be good to see a film. I spent about 2 hours in Ed’s studio before setting off, thinking “shall I go and watch a film”, “where shall I go”, “what shall I watch”, etc. In the end, the indecision was too much for me, so I set off into London without having filled in the details as yet.
The next choice was how to get into town - I didn’t fancy joining the rat-race at the nearest tube station (Aldgate East), so I walked on in a general westerley direction trying to settle on a tube or bus to catch. In the end, I didn’t settle, and I walked all the way to Covent Garden (which took about 90 minutes). Now came my first, and probably only, real snap decision of the day. I passed my first cinema, the Odeon on Shaftesbury Avenue, and saw that Donnie Darko was on. I knew nothing about Donnie Darko, except that I had once read a positive review of it (couldn’t remember what the review said, only that it was positive), and the name “Donnie Darko” had haunted my sleep the night before. And the film was on it one minute, so it seemed kinda predestined. Even though there were other films showing that I’d previously wanted to see much more, i.e. Bowling for Columbine and Dirty Pretty Things, I walked straight in and bought a ticket for Donnie with my last £5.
Donnie was great, although I felt I was missing some part of the plot, and dearly wished that I had Gill with me to explain it all. I walked out of the cinema into a greater dilemma - the (and this is the one that always hits me in London) eating dilemma. I still had time to kill, and was feeling a little hungry. I got some more money out of the bank, but I didn’t want to spend much as I’m still very skint. I had a vague idea of cravings for a sandwich. I thought about stopping at an Italian deli and ordering some ciabatta with an avocado salad, slathered in mayo. I meandered back East, in the general direction of Ed’s studio, but didn’t see many delis, and didn’t really fancy those I did see. The craving altered - I walked past a couple of Indian restaurants, which almost swayed my preferences. But I definitely wanted something Italian. Something a bit more junky-sloppy-filling than a sandwich. A Pizza! But not a pricey one. I dunno, maybe a Pizza Express or something, though I’d prefer one a little more authentic. Meanwhile I passed pubs… pub grub wouldn’t be too bad for this state. But… going into a pub to eat alone. Oh, how I wish I could do it. I’d love nothing more than to stroll into a pub alone, sit at the bar and engage somebody in conversation, to feel like I could just flit in and belong in any London hostelry. But chronic shyness soon put paid to that idea. Damn!
I was beginning to wonder whether I’d ever find the Italian bistro I was dreaming of, when I found 2 almost next to one another, near Smithfield Market. Unfortunately the juxtaposition just fuelled my indecisiveness. I had to keep going.
It finally dawned on me that I was getting close to Exmouth market, somewhere I’ve strolled through several times on recent indecision trips, where I always fancy the look of the restaurants. I quickly pulled myself into Strada before I could change my mind - certainly not the cheap eats I’d had in mind, but also indubitably Italian enough for me. In fact, I totally spoilt myself, drinking Peroni Gran Riserva beer while munching my way through polenta con funghi (gorgeous creamy melting comfort food) followed by salami pizza (ouch! 3rd lapse into non-vegetarianism in as many weeks, after some 17 succesful years. But my god… the puddle of mascarpone in which the salami, artichokes, olives and smoked tomatoes floated was… mmmmMMM!). I even couldn’t resist a dessert… Pannettone cooked-up bread-and-butter-pudding-style soulfood. And the waitress mistook my request for a Vin Santo to accompany… and brought me some cantuccini as well. Mustn’t complain.
And finally I wobbled out into the night, considerably poorer, still dying to go into a pub or somewhere and make contact with previously-undiscovered humans. Instead I went back to Ed’s, and switched my brain off far too early and easily.