Of course I dare to mail you (yawn). I’m not going to mail all my mates though, because frankly this conversation would bore them (as it does me). I’ll mail a small selection, just to make you happy (if indeed that’s possible), but if you want me to mail all my mates then you’re going to have to come up with some wittier insults than “toosser”. Try the insult generator, linked from the very page you emailed me from, for some ideas.

May a shitload of jagged dingos dismember nipples at a fund-raising event for your worthless ant farm.