Private Surf, February 2000    
   
   
   
The Priory Show
http://www.theprioryshow.com/

I wanted to like The Priory website, I really did. I would swim through oceans of vomit for Zoe Ball & Jamie Theakston, but wading through illiterate copy such as "Every week, we'll set you a new choice as to whether a celeb is a 'hero' or a 'zero' in your eyes", was just too much. The site's designers have tried to create something new and different, but the result is a mess - clumsy and hard to navigate. I tried to enter their competition but was told that "We were unable to find the page you were looking for. Try clicking the links below or visit the Virgin Radio home page", which wasn't much help. I managed to unearth a smattering of good-natured fun, but not half as much as I found searching internet newsgroups for conversations about Zoe Ball. According to a fan posting on alt.games.-half-life.tfclassic, she has "nipples ya could dial a phone with" (sic).

 

The Priory Show

the priory
Client Ginger Online
Brief Echo The Priory Show in interactive context
Created by Fernhart New Media
Address www.theprioryshow.com

country life
http://www.countrylife./

Knowing what a nouveau country-gent I am, Campaign sent me to review the revamped website of Country Life - "unofficial guardian of the increasingly threatened country lifestyle". I have to admit I know of no better place to bag oneself a rural estate (no, sorry, I can't possibly go above five million...), but the photos of these Gormenghast-sized stately piles were so small that even an estate agent couldn't make them seem otherwise. I felt like I was standing at the far end of the grounds holding my binoculars back-to-front. If you've got the money, hire somebody to do the leg-work for you and save yourself the eye-strain.

 

country life

country life
Client Country Life
Brief Retain Country Life style while being simple for visitors to use
Created in-house
Address www.countrylife.
co.uk

Boots
http://www.boots.co.uk/

The new, improved Boots site was cleanly designed (hope you like pastels) and had the corniest reason for nabbing your personal details yet encountered on the web: "because you're unique". Boots has been
online for a long time, and it has obviously learned many lessons along the way. The site was well thought out: the registration form included not just the usual name and e-mail address, but items which will no doubt add to the power of the Boots database such as your loyalty card number, children's ages and the scheduled popping date for expectant mothers. It is one of the few sites I have seen that allows you to "unregister" - another sign of good planning. The online store doesn't carry the entire range, and might not be the quickest way of finding a toothbrush when you're caught without one, but was nonetheless pretty comprehensive.

 

Boots


boots
Client Boots
Brief Offer women advice and features on health
and beauty, including personalised information
Created in-house
Address www.boots.co.uk

Room Service
http://www.roomservice.co.uk/

Last time I was asked to write this column, I said that I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of websites that I found useful. Since then, I have been introduced to a service that has greatly improved the quality of my life, so I thought I'd better share it. You may already be aware of Room Service, a company that will collect and deliver food from a number of top restaurants straight to your door. What I didn't know was that it has a website - and what a website. It's as ugly as the back-end of a particularly ugly dog, but love is blind, so this didn't bother me in the slightest. Simply click on your London area and you'll be offered a selection of around 30 eateries. Click on one (hmmm... what'll it be tonight, Blue Elephant or Chutney Mary's?) and you get the full menu. Choose your dishes, stick in your address, phone number and credit card details and hey presto! The food appears around an hour later. There's even a box for "additional items" you'd like the driver to pick up on the way (a packet of king-sized Rizlas and some chocolate hobnobs please). Sunday nights alone in the office will never be the same again.

 

Room Service

room service
Client n/s
Brief Restaurant food delivered to your door in the London area
Created by n/s
Address www.roomservice.co.uk

BullsEye art
http://www.bullseyeart.com/

Just to prove that a site can be truly wonderful without being in the slightest bit useful, I'd like to introduce you to my all-time favourite, Bullseye Art. Manic, silly, noisy, beautiful and, not infrequently, sick. The Woodcutter reads like a map of my mind. Words cannot possibly do it justice, only bizarre sounds will suffice (I would try and transcribe them, but that might discourage you from visiting the site). Go there, make friends with Miss Muffy, The Woodcutter and the rest of the crew. And in the words of the immortal Hooptie Goo and his fabulous Haikus:

"i'm ever so sad
pa says my pony got shot
and some day me too."

 

BullsEye art

BullsEye art
Client n/s
Brief n/s
Created In-house
Address www.bullseyeart.com

© Dan Sumption, February 2000

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